Runeology

[font="Comic Sans MS"][size="4"][color="#004200"][b]Yearly Physical[/b][/color][/size][/font][font="Comic Sans MS"][size="3"][color="#004200"][b]

I went to the doctor for my yearly physical.[/b][/color][/size][/font][font="Comic Sans MS"][size="3"] [/size][/font][font="Comic Sans MS"][size="3"][color="#004200"][b]
The nurse started with certain basics.

"How much do you weigh?" she asked.
"135," I said.
The nurse put me on the scale.

It turns out my weight is 180.

The nurse asked, "Your height?"
"5 foot 4," I said.
The nurse checked and saw that I only measure 5' 2"

She then took my blood pressure and told me that it is very high.

"Of course it's high!" I screamed, 'When I came in here I
was tall and slender! Now I'm short and fat!"

She put me on Prozac.

What a bitch[/b][/color][/size][/font][font="Comic Sans MS"][size="3"][b]. [/b][/size][/font] [font="Tahoma"][size="3"] [/size][/font]

[b][u]Nine Months Later!!![/u][/b] [b]
Jack decided to go skiing with his buddy, [/b][b]D[/b][b]an. So they loaded up Jack's [/b][b]E[/b][b]xplo[/b][b]r[/b][b]er and headed north.


After driving for a few hours, they got caught in a terrible blizzard. So they pulled into a nearby farm and asked the attractive lady who answered the door if they could spend the night.

'I realize it's terrible weather out there and I have this huge house all to myself, but I'm recently widowed,' she explained. 'I'm afraid the neighbors will talk if I let you stay in my house.'

'Don't worry,' Jack said. 'We'll be happy to sleep in the barn. And if the weather breaks,[/b][b] [/b][b]we'll be gone at first light.' The lady agreed, and the two men found their way to the barn and settled in for the night.


Come morning, the weather had cleared, and they got on their way.
They enjoyed a great weekend of skiing.

But about nine months later, Jack got an unexpected letter from an attorney. It took him a few minutes to figure it out, but he finally determined that it was from the attorney of that attractive widow he had met on the ski weekend.

He dropped in on his friend Bob and asked, 'Bob, do you[/b][b] [/b][b]r[/b][b]emember that good-looking widow from the farm we stayed at on our ski holiday up north about 9 months ago?'

'Yes, I do.' Said Bob[/b][b].
[/b][b]
'Did you, er, happen to get up in the middle of the night, go up to the house and pay her a visit?'

'Well, um, yes!,' Bob said, a little embarrassed about being found out,[/b][b] [/b][b]'I have to admit that I did.'

'And did you happen to give her my name instead of telling her your name?'

Bob's face turned beet red and he said,
'Yeah, look, I'm sorry, buddy. I'm afraid I did.' 'Why do you ask?'

'She just died and left me everything.'[/b]

[b][i]And you thought the ending would be different, didn't you?...[/i][/b]

[quote name='Ishtar Z' date='23 November 2010 - 12:37 PM' timestamp='1290515860' post='138057']
[b][u]Nine Months Later!!![/u][/b] [b]
Jack decided to go skiing with his buddy, [/b][b]D[/b][b]an. So they loaded up Jack's [/b][b]E[/b][b]xplo[/b][b]r[/b][b]er and headed north.


After driving for a few hours, they got caught in a terrible blizzard. So they pulled into a nearby farm and asked the attractive lady who answered the door if they could spend the night.

'I realize it's terrible weather out there and I have this huge house all to myself, but I'm recently widowed,' she explained. 'I'm afraid the neighbors will talk if I let you stay in my house.'

'Don't worry,' Jack said. 'We'll be happy to sleep in the barn. And if the weather breaks,[/b][b] [/b][b]we'll be gone at first light.' The lady agreed, and the two men found their way to the barn and settled in for the night.


Come morning, the weather had cleared, and they got on their way.
They enjoyed a great weekend of skiing.

But about nine months later, Jack got an unexpected letter from an attorney. It took him a few minutes to figure it out, but he finally determined that it was from the attorney of that attractive widow he had met on the ski weekend.

He dropped in on his friend Bob and asked, 'Bob, do you[/b][b] [/b][b]r[/b][b]emember that good-looking widow from the farm we stayed at on our ski holiday up north about 9 months ago?'

'Yes, I do.' Said Bob[/b][b].
[/b][b]
'Did you, er, happen to get up in the middle of the night, go up to the house and pay her a visit?'

'Well, um, yes!,' Bob said, a little embarrassed about being found out,[/b][b] [/b][b]'I have to admit that I did.'

'And did you happen to give her my name instead of telling her your name?'

Bob's face turned beet red and he said,
'Yeah, look, I'm sorry, buddy. I'm afraid I did.' 'Why do you ask?'

'She just died and left me everything.'[/b]

[b][i]And you thought the ending would be different, didn't you?...[/i][/b]
[/quote]

That's epic! xD I love it!